Por vezes, os dias não são fáceis. Aliás, por vezes, são mesmo difíceis. Há alturas em que olhamos a própria intuição com desconfiança, de tanto tropeçar nos dias. Há alturas em que a única coisa que resta é procurar compreender melhor o que se diz, o que se estuda, o que se escreve sobre isto.
Queremos fazer melhor do que fazemos. Mesmo reconhecendo as nossas limitações e falhas, queremos fazer melhor. Queremos redimir-nos das falhas, queremos ensinar o perdão e, para isso, temos de começar por olhar as situações por outra perspectiva.
No meio disto: o sofrimento duma família em que os membros se amam entre si.
Não esperamos uma cura da vida, mas desejávamo-la, temos de admitir isso. Procuramos levá-la para um lugar seguro e eu acho que o nosso amor não tem sido isso. Temos de (re)começar daí.
Vamos indo e vamos vendo. Queremos o melhor para que todos se sintam seguros e possam sentir alegria nos seus corações.
Transcrevo um excerto:
“Sometimes the road to loving your adopted daughter is long and twisted and scary. You know something is wrong – but is it her? Is it you? You drown in shame and confusion, hiding your feelings from the world. (…)My husband and I banded together to read everything we could on the syndrome. We made a dogged effort and a conscious commitment to help our daughter and make ourselves into a family. It was our daily work. We learned that parenting a child who has trouble bonding requires counter-intuitive parenting instincts – some that disturbed and surprised family and friends. (…) With the help of research and case studies, we had a tool box. Some advice was invaluable, some failed. Some techniques worked for a while. We were living inside a laboratory. I knew how lucky I was to have a partner like Ricky because so many marriages and homes are ravaged by the challenge of adopting difficult children.(…) She became more capable of showing anger rather than indifference. As her verbal skills developed, we had the advantage of being able to explain to her that we loved her and would never leave her. That we understood how scary it was for her to be loved by an adult and that she was safe.Progress took time – and the work of staying bonded with a wounded child is a life-time endeavor. That’s okay though because Julia has stepped out of the danger zone. She’s taken off her helmet and armor. She has let me become her mother. And I honor that trust by remembering, each and every day, how she struggles with subconscious demons and how mighty her battle is and will always be”.(aqui)
Troquem ideias connosco, sentimo-nos sós.